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Self-verification theory, in psychology, is the need for people to be consistent. Individuals would rather be consistent than right, such as behaving the way they percieve themselves, such as unworthy and victimized, in order to self sabotage.
"The podcast guest refers to the social psychology theory called "self-verification theory". A listener interested in understanding why people subconsciously seek situations consistent with their self-image (even negative ones) might want to learn more about this theory."